THE MATH: (Vesta + Scorpio) INCONJUNCT (North Node + Gemini) = Don’t fucking look

THE WEAVE:

Vesta speaks with the

Knights of the Round Table,

at the North Node

in Gemini…
"To look, or not 
to look, THAT 
is the question."

"Don't fucking look, 
Vesta," the Knight 
of Wands, spits.

"Why not?"

"Do you ever 
feel good, after 
you look, Vesta?"  
gently probes 
the Knight of Cups.

"No, not usually."

"Let that sink in," smirks 
the Knight of Pentacles.

"But sometimes, he's funny."

"You don't need him,
to write, V, he's using you,
as an experiment.  He warned
you, he'll treat you like 
his mother.  He'll feed
your Nightmare Machine,"
spells the Knight of Swords, 
injecting an inception.

"Then I guess that makes
him, pretty similar to Daddy,
and this whole fucking
cell we call society."

"He's using you!" 
the Knight of Wands, 
flames.

"I use him too."

"For what, to cry?"
the Knight of Cups,
protests.

"I don't know,
to play, to dream."

"-Respond to the Earth
more, and to him, less," 
the Knight of Pentacles, 
interjects.

"Man follows the Earth."

"So be a man," the Knight
of Wands, challenges.

"Fine, I will
invoke my inner 
masculine; the Daddy
in me, who does not
need to be 
comforted; The Baby
who does not need
anybody's help."

"No offense, but
your inner masculine, 
sounds toxic AF,"
the Knight of Swords, 
cuts.

"I'm not yet familiar
with what a healthy 
masculine sounds like."

"Me either, but, it seems 
like part of it is about
thoughtfully carving your Way
around what you want.
You contain it,"  the Knight
of Swords, slices, delicately, 
as he stares into Vesta's eyes,
leaning in.

Vesta stops, to take 
his whole form in,
and make sure he knows,
she doesn't trust him.
"I just know one can be 
contained, while the other 
is the container,
and a more neutral human
can let the parts trade places,
because they can feel the subtle
shift in the energy field.
Who is holding the power?
The Light in the Dark?
Or the Dark in the Light?
You can do it alone,
or with another person.
You can give each inner
counterpart names, but 
that doesn't necessarily mean,
either part you awaken
starts healthy, or balanced."

"So you do it with him,"
the Knight of Wands grins,
humping the table.

"Yeah, I trade Power
with him, I guess, but
if I play, I never get to 
keep it, in the end.
He always keeps it."

"Do you like that?"
the Knight of Cups
attentively asks.

"I guess I've hoped,
some day, there will be
sweetness."

"Don't hope V.
Hope is for weaklings.
Hope isn't Here," growls 
the Knight of Pentacles,
bolting up, and shoving
over the table.

"Who's toxic masculine
is talking Now?"

The Knight of Pentacles
comes back, begging
at her knee, "Don't
hope, V, it makes you
speak, in future tenses.

"True.  I would like 
to be Here with him.

"-Well he isn't, so
why do you keep 
considering it,"
the Knight of Swords,
back-slashes, jealously.

"I'm curious.  
I've lost everything 
else.  There are no stakes
left."

"V, honey, Listen 
to yourSelves," whispers 
the Knight of Cups,
patting the back
of her hand.

"Solid suggestion,"
she says as she turns 
her face away from him.

"Don't look!" the Knight
of Wands demands, holding her
nose, at blazing torch-point
on her other side.

"-OKAY!" she squeals,
then sighs, "fine.
Okay."

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