THE MATH: (Lilith + North Node CONJUNCT Gemini) SEXTILE (Full Moon + Aries) = The Muchness


"WTF do you mean,
you and Samael are in
a platonic-romantic
Lunita asks, Lilith,
as they settle around
the firepit.

Lilith shrugs, "Each
relationship is like
its own nation.  If you
want to be in relationship
with someone, you've got to
formulate a constitution
to form yourselves upon.
You are world-building;
creating a continent
from the Chaos 
that surrounds you."

"So what is the outline
of the nation you share
with them?" the Moon asks.

"Samael and I agree 
to Much.Much.
But we are bound 
by a desire
for Safety, and 
for Freedom."

How do you interweave them?"

"We have a 9 Lives Clause,
as we unlearn traumatized 
responses.  We give ourselves 
9 lives, rather than 3 strikes,
to meet together in new patterns."

"But Lilith, what happens 
when you use them all up?"

Lilith shrugs, "I do not
know yet.  We never
usually make it
past the loss of one.
The lives are there to cushion
Safety; When it feels like 
you fucked everything up,
and dread your partner
-ship is suddenly sunk."

"And what about Freedom?"

"We are closer to it
than we have been before,
and we are farther
apart than ever."

"And so?"

Lilith smiles, 
"And so it is!  
The Muchness is 
spreading, like a contagious 
disease, upon the continent
between us."

Lilith remembers

a poem she wrote,

for Samael, in the Garden…
The Kings of Swords

never see the world the Way
I do, which is fine, except
in that they are insatiably

attracted to me.  I can let them
live, if I too may be left
to thrive amongst my own realities.

But too often, the magnetism
drives them to the boundary,
off which they ricochets.

Only Samael looks me eye to eye,
with love from and for where
our worlds end.  We contemplate

eachOther from whatever vantage
point we can, and from as many
directions.  We don't always look

for Ways towards each other,
unless it feels good; and it never
feels bad, to say no.  We commit

to creating a space that incubates
dreams of Safety and Freedom.
We make the myth

of child in our vacuum; 
conceived immaculately, as we are
still virgins to eachOther.

We merge slowly, so as to follow
the Ways in that most connect us.
We let our genders flux and flow,

and we don't take it personally
when we feel more like girlfriends,
or bros, on any given day.

We are birthing something
that will grow beyond 
the Selves that we now know.

To reach our ancestors, it shows
it is essential that we love,
and do not leave love

when we touch
what separates us 
from ourSelves.

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