THE MATH: (Lilith + Gemini) INCONJUNCT (White Moon + Capricorn) = Lucy Feels


Lilith calls Selena,

from the house phone

on the island…
"And so now I have to make
myself, a new fucking Heart,"
Lilith ends her soliloquy.

"Lucky you!" Selena exclaims.

Lilith darkens,
"I resent your optimism."

"That's my job, wench.
I am Here to remind you
you are not a victim."

"Gee, thanks," Lilith says.

"What do you think
Lucy feels?" Selena asks.

"Why are you thinking
about Lucifer, Selena?"

"I dunnoooo," Selena sings,
"I'm wandering around
Capricorn, and I will
probably run into him
Here, in Hell.
I just want to be
prepared, to, you know
make small talk."

"I don't pretend to know
how Lucy feels, but he suffers
from believing he is not

"Were you not repelled
by him, when you met him?"

"I was 16, he was 27.
At that stage
in my consciousness, he was
already ancient.  I was
repelled by him, because
I wanted to trust him,
and he had no trust
to give me."

"But he gave you
the book, of Rumi
love poems."

"Yeah, because he wanted to 
fuck me," Lilith responds,
"Besides, I never read it."

Selena's eyes
go wide, "Why not?"

Lilith shrugs, "When
I asked him, what book
I should pick, from the wall 
in the gift shop,
I wanted to learn 
about Buddhist philosophy,
and I trusted him, to choose
something to guide me.
Instead, I rode the bus
home, with my Heart 
in my throat, and a fluffy
book of poems.  Everything was
'Beloved this, Beloved that'
and the shame burned
so strong.  I knew what he wanted,
but simultaneously I did not.
To read more, or understand,
I physically could not."

"Where is the book Now?"

"Collecting dust, on a shelf
in a bedroom, in the Garden,
where it belongs." 

Selena smiles, "Aww,
Lilith, you kept it,
all of that Time."

Lilith kicks at a crumb,
"Yeah, well, Life goes on."

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