THE MATH: NEW MOON SCORPIO (Venus + Sagittarius) INCONJUNCT (Lilith Rx + N. Node CONJUNCT Gemini) = Psycho-Technology


“I figured out what

I have been doing, Lilith,”

Vesta says, as she walks
into the Weaving Room.
Lilith smiles, "OK, weirdo, 
what have you been doing,"
she asks, indulging Vesta.

"I've been engaging
in a practice, with a
psycho-technology, that induces
self-transformation, charting
the advancement of my psyche
through an astrological system."

Lilith smiles wider, "Where
did you get that one, V?"

"Ken Wilbur lectures
on Integral Theory."

"Right, well, what we
give our attention to,
we awaken, Caroline Casey
could have told you that."

Vesta rolls her eyes, "Thanks 
for popping my balloon,
Lilith.  AnyWays, why
aren't you done weaving
this Heart yet?"

"Because I have to
wake it up,
and there is a debt
involved in that."

Vesta gets out her notebook,
"Explain," she demands,
"I'm listening."
Lilith smiles, at Vesta's 
earnestness, "If you want to
awaken in this world, you must
first awaken to the fact
you are in pain.  Like
a baby, taking her first
breaths.  As I bind this
Heart, I must also unbind
my body.  She screams
with the price I pay
for Alchemy.  The muscles
around the Heart, stiffening.
The subscapularis,
the anterior serratus,
the pectoralis minor,
the levator scapula,
the suboccipital muscles,
and the fucking teres minor,
all congeal, when, in frozen motion,
I braid.  Sometimes I cannot feel
the rhomboids at all.
It brings out the old
woman in me.  It is a war
Time takes up with my body.
I have to move and massage
her free, and as I break up
dysfunctional tissue, 
I release emotional expressions,
into my bloodstream, like toxins.
I cannot continue
to weave until I move,
or write, or drink
lots of water, and will myself
to see what has been trapped
inside of me, one last 
Time, as darkness weaves
it's Way, into my pee."

"Sounds like some 
scientific shadow work."

"Don't you think it might be?
Keeping the Heart awake
requires flushing."

Vesta pauses, "Okay, but
why the red thread?"

"I want my HeArt to buzz, V!"
Lilith beams, maniacally.

"What do you mean."

The madness gone,
as quickly as it came,
Lilith shrugs, simply,
"I am invoking color
theory.  You will feel it
when you see it."

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