"The Kids," Saturn says,
"I think you could help the Chiron
Kids. I have been working with
them, all of these years,
and I see the pattern
shaping. So bright, and highly
sensitive, mythic and imaginative.
But they have a hard time
landing, in embodiment, staying
with a feeling through the whole
wave. They talk their Way around it.
I have never experienced dysphoria,
but you went there,
and now you are not,
and I know, it's not
a popular opinion, but
maybe you can teach us
something, about the strategy
of self-trickery." Vesta tells him,
"The problem seems to me,
to be that there is
a lot of pain Here, in
the 3D, and even more bodies
who do not yet know,
we are capable of moving
through the waving complexity
of an agonizing emotion.
You've got to find some Way
to be creative, if you are
a fae-baby. You mulch to stay
with it, until you break
your brain open, with your own
symbols, and you lose them
to stumble into them.
This is the Way
of moths, not butterflies.
But I am just one queer,
and I am still landing.
You have caught me
with my pants down.
I don't know any theys
who feel like me. Some would
say, I am not queer enough,
to have an opinion,
I'm just existential.
My material tends to be
controversial, in a PG-13
kind of Way. All the same,
I will write a poem for us,
to invite the puzzling to turn
in my subconscious mind; initiating
self-trickery, to be the play
of finding."
Jillian Sinnott 