THE MATH: (Athena + Pisces) SQUARE (Sun + Sagittarius) = to kindly cross


“So Athena,” Sunny asks,

“What’s the latest?”

Athena speaks…

"Trauma is such a Word

right Now, Hot and loaded.
When you recognize your
trauma, you can recognize
how it arrived there.  The chain

is so long.  Who knows
which link you Will
find first.  I spent one Winter,
being, many hours with

my Grandmother, speaking all kinds
of things.  In her most Sage
moments, she spoke through
the lens of Sewing.

"Feed it, don't Force it,"
she guided me, as I mastered
how to wield a sewing
machine, and make

a curved Weave smoothly into
a braided rug, rippling like a rain
drop, on a calm pond.  And in
the evenings, over a glass

of red wine, and a Fire in
the Hearth, we talked
about sex, and the Way
if you ask people questions,

about themselves, they assume you
are the "nicest" person ever,
and how weird is that?
We asked each other honest

questions, and we gave answers
as honestly as we could see
them.  We puzzled over pieces
we did not have, and eventually

I found a gnarled root,
that Had Been alWays
woven into me.  My Grandmother
told me, "Our family does

not behave like that,"
when I gave the middle
finger, to the white boys
on the Internet.

As if to say, "Rebellion
is for privacy."  The pain
is Rivers of mycelium.  I know
it isn't anybody's fault.

I know my anger is my own.
I am mulching as much as I can
of it.  I am finding my capacity
expands, as I just let it

be.  I have not heard the voice
of my Grandmother, in a couple
of years.  It is painful, to feel 
I am abandoning her, and I do not

adjust it.  It is not just
my Father between us.
The Void is gaping, and I
no longer know how

to kindly cross it."

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