THE WEAVE:
Lilith wakes up, mumbling
on a raft, halfway through
a decade-old recitation
that only Adam ever heard…
"-Be tough. Sit up." We call this a "mature" disposition. Calm and collected -now that I resonate with, but this environment is killing me, and I must tolerate it? I get depressed, yes, I know the whole World can't be listen. But when it's hard to get out, it's natural to hope someone is tuning in. Instead, I need to medicate and cross my fingers for remission? How do you grieve the living? A person does not need to be analysed, but discussed with. Every problem has a route, but not all thru-Ways can be trusted. And we'd be blind to believe, there is no possibility, a shift in reality is rooted in community. My emotions, have a tendency, to cloud over. Sleep will wake me in a cold sweat. Some mornings, I feel hung over. So a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, as a thick candy coating crest the wave of Self -doubt? Now the problem is missing, but the solution is not found? Is that what you call solid ground?"
Lilith remembers more
recent diary entries,
about Adam..
April, 2020: THE MATH: Chiron CONJUNCT the native Sun in Aries = Life goes on It seems like Chiron just wants to talk about you. Women show up to tell me how it hurts them, when I tell the truth in how I feel about you; whether it is because of how I chose to Love you, or how I learned to let you go. There was much pain brewing, inside of me before I met you, that I didn't understand. You partly understood. And you made it better, and you made it worse, and life goes on.
April, 2020: THE MATH: Chiron CONJUNCT native Sun in Aries = I won't anymore She texted me to tell me the decision I made to Love him, still hurts her, even now as she is married, stable and secure with her job, in her own home. She has so many things that I do not, and I told her how grateful I would be to have what she has at this Time when my business has collapsed, my gender identity is exploding, my sexual trauma has worked it's Way, to the surface of my skin, like glass, asking to be removed as I look my father in the eye. But I get it. I loved him too. I just know there are Tales no use in telling anymore. The timeline has switched. Life has grown over him. The lesson is the same. To heal. To die. To heal. And I asked her if we could be about something beyond him, and bring our bond into the present. Where we are both here, looking for alchemy in Love. I told her, I would hear anything she ever need to say, but that I have run out of Ways to say, "I'm sorry," and I won't anymore.
Planetary Signatures 