THE MATH: (New Moon Capricorn) SEXTILE (Pallas Athene + Pisces) = Stages of Grief


Persephone sits on the edge

of Athena’s bed, taking

her temperature…
"So Persephone, any news
from Dad?" Athena asks,
as the thermometer rolls
around her mouth.

"No news from Dad,"
Persephone falls flat,
as she yanks it out
from between Athena's lips,
and looks at it.

"Do you think you will
receive some?" Athena's voice
lilts, hopeful.

"I don't really think
about Dad that much, anymore,
Athena," Persephone shrugs,
and shows Athena the results,
"You're back to neutral."

Athena waves the thermometer
out of the Way, "But Dad has entered
the Dreaming Sea.  He is close.
You shouldn't suppress
your feelings, Persephone."

"I'm not.  But there are
stages of grief, you know?
And I have reached acceptance."

"But Jupiter is alive, Persephone."

Persephone shrugs, "Well
I am dead to him, so long
as I will not pretend."

"What about with Pluto,
where are you at in
grieving him?" Athena asks.

Persephone puts the thermometer,
back in its case, "Do you ever
feel like bargaining and depression
are put in the wrong order?"

"You are still bargaining?"
Athena's eyebrows raise.

"No.  I accept the grief
of Pluto too, I just
think perhaps these cycles
are not as cut and dry
as we make them out to be."

"Well for me they seem to be
moving in their assigned direction."

Persephone studies Athena,
where she lays in her bunk,
"Yes they say catatonic depression
comes right before the Dawn of
Acceptance," Persephone bitterly quips.

"You don't seem convinced."

"Everyone thinks it's just like,
woo-hoo!  You accept, and you move
on.  But none of you Nymphs have
the Death King, tracking you,
alWays trying to cut you down."

"He sounds like an asshole.
Are you sure you need to
grieve Pluto at all?"

"I am not grieving who he is.
I am grieving who I am not."

"Don't do that," Athena demands.

"Why?" Persephone prepares
to defend herself.

"You are grieving that you are not
his perfect little doll?
You realize how dehumanizing it is,
that he even had a mold for you
to fill, right?  Grieving not growing
into who he wanted you to be, is like
grieving not being strawberry jello,
made into little Heart shapes.
What would you be, if you were his
perfection?  Rosy, and silently jiggling?"

Persephone darkens, "Perfect is,
as perfect does.  Did you not also become
a perfect war-doll, for your Daddy-King?"

"Ouch Seph," Athena calls back,
"But yeah, I did."

"According to Pluto and his textbooks,
I am an emotionally manipulative,
co-dependent narcissist, with
anti-social, and borderline personality
disorder. I hurt people,"
Persephone says.

"Fuck Pluto's textbooks.
You have brought Nothing
but care into my life.
You tell the chilly truth,
but you also keep us warm.
And you alWays encourage me
to do what is in my Heart."

Persephone shrugs, "Pluto would say,
I perform acts of kindness
because I do not like mySelves,
and I am scared to die alone."

"We all die alone,"
Athena says, puzzled.

Persephone shrugs, "I know,
that's why I don't argue 
with him, anymore."

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