THE MATH: (Saturn + Aquarius) TRINE (Lilith Rx + Gemini) = was all like, “How inconvenient!”
“I found a new teacher,”
Lilith says, tossing
her hands up, as she sits
back down, to the chess table…
"Great," Saturn says, resetting
the game, "Let's do this."
"Eww, no," Lilith scrunches
her nose, "Not you,
Saturn. She is a woman
with your qualities."
in confusion, "How do you know
she is a teacher
meant for you," he asks,
trying not to lean in
too close, to the fly-trap,
as he whispers to her.
Lilith grins, out from the pools
of her eyes, looking into him,
"We made each-other
mad. It was awkward-
kind of like the first Time,
you give a new client a massage,
and you accidentally trigger
a sympathetic nervous response,
because you are not listening Well
enough, to the body in the vulnerable
position, and there is no trust
yet. And then,
it takes, like, 20 minutes,
to bring their nervous system
back down to homeostasis.
And that is the only place
you can begin to bring any True
connection through the body.
Accidents happen, but you lose
Time, if you trip someOne up. I arrived
to her, with a reputation,
preceding me. I was gifted
a reading with her, from a friend.
She knew, I was a budding
astrologer. She entered my birthday
gift, defending her styles
and systems, which made me sad,
because I just wanted to be her
friend, and ask her things.
She assumed I would be
more difficult, because of All
my Martian influences. She did not
say so, instead she said she, "thought
we would need to spend more
Time on Mars, but Now
she's not sure." I smiled
like Mona Lisa, and said,
'Mars and I are better friends
Now.' I burned to ask her
a question about the style
in which she calculated my spread,
because it placed me,
Black Moon Lilith,
in a degree and different
relationship, with my entire
birth chart, while All else
remained the same. And I
did ask her,
but I also found it
very hard to ask her
anything else, after that.
She scoffed at what I did not know.
She had a Way she wanted things to go
for my reading, and my question
disorder her. The Mirror
glowed, with irony
between us. I tried to tell her
I was All ears, and Open
to receive, feeling misunderstood
by All the walls, already thrown
up to me, before there was
much of a how-do-you-do.
My sympathetic response
tripped, I became disoriented
to WTF was actually happening
between us, besides an un-elegant
tumble into shared psychic space,
and a fawning response. The agreement
Here, was that I shut the fuck up,
and listen, but it was never
said outright. Once I understood
that I was meant to receive
a sermon, from an astrologer
with 40 years of experience
everything was easier, and she softened
And I listened, and I thought
about Time wasted,
explaining technicalities to me
that I do not understand,
but I understand this:
This GXD damn burning
question. But we couldn't even
talk about it, because
my poetry is an unorthodox
Way of harvesting archetypal
wisdom, and every Time we touched
down on it, she hopped around, asking
me Nothing else about it. She'd have to
look at me, from a different eye level,
than my measly 4 years of study.
"Will Pluto pass my North Node
again?" She wondered aloud to herSelves.
"No," I said, "He came 5 Times
already. He'll come close
in his next retrograde,
like a cloud passed, but shadow
lingering," but she could not hear me.
She looked it up in the handbooks,
and read the dates
back to me, and I nodded,
quietly. I wanted to tell her
about all the Stories speaking,
through me, every day, and ask her
what she made of that?
But it seemed like, she thought
my inquiry, unimportant, to my make-up.
What could I truly know yet
-charming baby that I am-
when her Way is to work with One
asteroid, at a Time, for years.
But what tickled me, the most, was
my Black Moon herSelf, doing
just what I asked her, in a cosmic
joke, fucking everything
up, because she moved
to Middle Earth.
At 26' 47" Sagittarius,
exactly opposite from my Mars, and in
the degree that marks the Galactic
Center of the Universe,
also known as a Black Hole.
I was used to seeing mySelves
in Capricorn, and I just couldn't
keep my mouth shut. Cawing
like the Selkie-Penguin that I am,
I interrupted her routine,
with my burning 'O
Why', and it derailed
the entire interaction.
She reacted with demeaning pride,
assuming I was disputing
her system, when I was
really just curious, because
I did just tell mySelves,
I would be moving, and Moonie
was all like, "How inconvenient!"
And Here I was, noticing
how I'd changed locations, and it was
inconveniencing this woman.
'Not only are you in
the Galactic Center,' she said,
'but you're out of bounds.'
And I laughed, because that is
the Tao. And she had no
idea how True it All is,
because she did not
want to ask."
"Your run on sentences give me
headaches Lilith," Saturn sighs
as he fingers his queen, on
the chessboard, "If the student is not
getting mad, it's not working."
"So which one of us,
is the student, then?
And what's not working?"
Lilith wonders, back at him.