THE MATH: (MEAN Lilith + Gemini) TRINE (Mars + Aquarius) = in the name of Love


Lilith calls her brother

for advice. She leaves a voicemail…

"I Love you," the handiboi emails me,
between berating me.  I make him
feel, he tells me, "worse

than anyone has ever
made him feel."  But I have
not even said anything.

I've been minding my fucking
business.  He tells me, he will
not respect my boundaries,

because I alWays assumed
he would break them,
so Now he is.  Daddy

weaponizes Love.  He wants
me to say it, in therapy.
More than anything, he is

irked, that I do not believe.
I let the Word fall into
the empty space, and sleep. 
I will not tell a man
how he does, or does not
feel.  But I will tell you,

once I thought I was in Love
with a man named Lucifer.
I told him, and he said, "Thank you,"

and he told me,
"You did not grow into who
I thought you would be."

And I realized, I hated
mySelves, for All
the Times I betrayed mySelves

in the name of Love."

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