THE MATH: (TRUE Lilith + Gemini) SQUARE (Moon + Virgo) = Time-Tides, unexpected


Lilith and Persephone sit

across from eachother,

a candle between them…
"Meditation is too hard!"
Persephone gets up,
stomping her feet.

Lilith opens one eye, and looks up
at Persephone, from where
she sits, "They say, it is
even harder, for
the traumatized brain."

"Can we bail?"
Persephone asks her.

"No," Lilith growls,
"We're fucking doing this.
We've got family therapy
in an hour, and I need
to be asleep by then."

"But I have trauma, Lili,
lots, and lots of trauma,"
Persephone whines.

"Oh yeah?  Shall we play,
'Who was in the Water
longest'?  I was
traumatized, by the Buddhist
who taught me how to meditate.
If I can learn to bear
to sit.  So can you,"
Lilith spits.  She closes
her eyes, and falls asleep.
She dreams of sitting
under cottonwood trees...

1/4/21 Transit:
Sun + Capricorn CONJUNCT native Neptune
Jupiter + Aquarius CONJUNCT native Saturn
OPPOSITE native Jupiter in Leo =


"Time no longer leaps in straight
lines.  I see that Now
it circulates, as I pick up

the teen I left with him,
in that place.  Most AFAB move
from Priestess, to Empress,

to Crone.  But I hopped 
over the Mother, to the Moon,
and picked up Van Gogh 

on my Way back into the womb.
Slowly I birthed mySelves, up through
the surface of my veins; involuntarily

reliving every painful childhood
memory on the Way.  And Now
it’s like I’m leaving

that retreat center, every day. 
Priestess again, when I sit down
to meditate. I can’t help it.  

He is where I learned how,
and I have to circle back 
to get a Way.  Images

are challenging to escape, when 
you’re a photographic-synesthete.
The sensations are folded in

to the muscle-memory that made
the braid. They do not deteriorate
in the same haze.  I am as much tHere,

as I am Here; revising the timeline
in a Way, as the Past and Present
breathe into the postures, and day

-Light ebbs at the edges
of the Future.  I can hear the tide
of his voice, as I rest 

my hands on the beaches
of my thighs.  It hurts me,
but I allow the memories to wave

into the Pain.  There is
a pocket Here.  A chance
to rearrange what might not have

found a bay. I may never
have a child, but I have certainly 
learned to gestate, and make

Time-Tides, unexpected."

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