THE MATH: (Lilith + Cancer) SQUARE (Jupiter + Aries) = I’m not shutting up


Lilith keeps writing

letters, on leaves

in the Forest…

"Your trauma doesn't
count.  Mine is worse than yours,"
Handiboi says, like we are

playing a game of compare
and contrast.  Like you
don't just prove to me

and yourSelves, again
and again, that All
you have for me is venom,

underneath your mask
of so-called Love.  Just jealously
and resentment, and hatred

for a woman who speaks
for herSelves.  When your Love
goes unreturned, you spit

in my face.  "Quit it with this
woke feminist bullshit,
while men are out tHere

taking bullets for you."
Like I asked them to do
that, personally.  Like I've ever 

asked the GXDZ to bless
the bloodbath that is America. 
Like I've ever

called mySelves a feminist.
I am the One, who told you,
Handi-Hyde, how damaging

feminism can be.  It makes
men hate themSelves.
Do you hate yourSelves yet?

In your projection of me?
Lately, I've been thinking
of how I used to let men,

make me apologize
for the Way they hurt me,
when I presence how

I don't want to be
treated.  They twist,
and throw my complaint back

at me in a different form,
until I was crying and 
apologizing, for having feelings,

and for voicing them.
I am too smart for that Now.
"Stop twisting my Words,"

he says, but I'm quoting him
directly.  You don't Love me,
and even if you do,

I don't want it.  Does it hurt?
The things you say to me? 
Fangs you sink

into your own skin
with every bite
you try to take of me.

"If I can't have her,
then I'll destroy her."
That's what you have not

said, but you are thinking.
What you call Love is driven
by a desire to possess me.

You regurgitate, pieces of 
my poetry, casting yourSelves
as my victim, using my own

Words, and totally mis
understanding them.  You think
it makes you seem clever,

but it actually makes you seem
Foolish.  I know, because
I've done it too.  There is Nothing

that I say to you, that does not
come from a deep understanding
of the pain you are

going through.  To give your Love
to someOne who doesn't want it,
and to fail the test of Love,

when you are rejected.
You tell me I am getting
what I deserve, for attracting

attention.  Spoken, like
a truly abusive romantic
partner.  If a man like you

could destroy me
with his Words, he would have
by Now, and he's already tried to.

tHere is no hope,
Handi-Hyde.  I don't want you,
and I never will.

So go ahead.
Take your punches.
Take your fill

of my woke feminist
bullshit.  If you don't
want to See yourSelves

Here, stop reading, or
stop writing, because
I'm not shutting up.

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